"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Monday, May 30, 2011

Speak Softly.

Sharp whispers
Pierce my
Ears.
All you
Know is

Soft
Overlay, gradients
Falling over
Tones of
Lithe, hushed
Youth.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

After Rain I Walk.

Crisp
beads of rain
a sky overcast
with clouds
of grey cotton.
The chill of after rain,
has me shivering.

Or maybe
the walk home
is just too short.

A Nervous Encounter.

A moment
of throbbing fear.
A million hammers
in my throat,
chest,
heart.
Your heavy
bated breath too close,
cold fingers
creeping up my back
as moist lips
whisper what I know.
I brought this on,
yet I never
wanted it.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Starving Smile.

A smile,
teeth and lips
starving for a kiss,
a taste,
a touch
of freedom.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Mazzfest!

I just got back from a big music festival called Mazzfest in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. It was the first time I've ever been on a road trip without some sort of family. And it was honestly a blast. We beasically got into the truck saturday morning, drove for six hours, then moshed from two in the afternoon to almost midnight, and then camped out for the night. I just got back a few hours ago, dirty and tired and sore and so happy I had the oppurtunity to go.

I definitely want to go again next year!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Unmistakable Heat.

I.
Heat
and the unmistakable wind.
The tree cracked
and fell,
and we were there
to hear it's crumple.

II.
Heat
and the unmistakable smell
of new life, old leaves,
forest and creeping ants
all around us.

III.
The Heat
was unmistakable
and crackled
like lightning in the air,
and between
the two of us.

- - -

This is a memory, so forgive me if is a) vague and b) hard to piece together. I don't think I'll ever forget that Sunday afternoon. Part of me wants to. Part of me wants to look back and laugh and think about how silly it was. That part wants to forget. And another part whispers in my ear that it was a turning point.

Well.

I keep flip flopping back and forth. One day I'm excited about university, the next I'm freaking about how to pay for it all, and the day after that I'm dying to get out of highschool, and then the day after that I'm too afraid to leave. It's been kind of a mental rollercoaster of a week so far, but the weekend (still so far off) promises relief.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Headache.

Head smushed
against the pillow
sounds are nails
grating on a chalkboard.
I hear my own breath,
heavy with sleep.
My feet are cold,
and yet warm.

- - -

I enrolled in my classes for next term. University is looking more and more appealing, and less scary the more I learn about how everything works. I getting excited and I haven't even graduated yet. :)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

RollerCoaster.

This life is like
a graceful rollercoaster,
with ups
downs
gentle waves of release
and then pull.
A slow,
dull thud
fills your stomach
as it descends,
always followed
by a steady lifting of spirits
and the inevitable,
eloquent crash.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Good Morning!

Well, yesterday was my birthday. It still feels like today cause I haven't gone to sleep yet (it's very late at night), and I must say that despite my insistance that I did not want to be showered with gifts, affection, or offers to get 'smashed', it all happened and it was all enjoyable.

I'm excited to be moving towards the next step in my life, but also a little afraid of what that might all mean.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Shake.

You freeze me in place at times,
your cool stare
judging
my slight, fidgeting movements.
I shake
because
I'm too afraid to step out of line;
You shake
because your body yearns
to pounce.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Quiet.

Relishing this moment
of quiet contentment--
a second of simplicity
sandwiched between
the rushing, garbled
sections of an hour.
I lean back,
shift into
quiet solitude.

- - -

First AP exam tommorrow. It's English Literature and Composition, so I'm not overly worried about it. English is, after all, my favorite subject. :) The bisggest thing I worry about with these exams is the amount of class time I have to miss to write it-- it's almost not even worth it.

But no big deal I guess.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Blinded By Something.

If she was blinded by faith
then you were blinded
by your all too clear
skepticism.
A snail to a slug, you said.
But like all colors in life,
this thing you speak of
lies upon a spectrum.
One in which you are
clear pale blue,
and I am
bright voracious red.

- - -

So this next week is going to be hell. And then things should wind down a bit. Finally. Why does life have to be so busy right now? All I want for the moment is to live and learn and turn eighteen on a day not crowded by other events. Life isn't so simple it seems.

Anyways, this poem was inspired by something a friend said to me. We were talking about an aqaintance, an extremely religious one, and my friend said to me, "It's sad to think that she's been blinded by her religion." This has stuck in my brain for quite some time now, and I always go back to it and wonder. Well, the other day I was--as I often do-- wondering about it again and another thought cropped up in my brain. I felt like my friend when she said this, and when she says other things, that she was blinded by something too. My friend is blinded by her own skepticism, her own clarity of thought.

And then I started thinking about what other things you could be blinded by. I'm most often blinded by cynicsim, or love, or passion, or fear. What blinds you? What makes you think one way or another, what most affects your thoughts towards politics, world events, local events, music, art, industry?

What are you influenced by?