"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Boredom Equals Feeling Sorry For Yourself.

When ever someone is bored, they're always like "Oh, woe on me, I'm so bored." Whine, whine, whine.

I'm not saying that I don't do this, nor am I saying that this is necessarily bad. All it is is that if you're godamn bored, stop whining to me about it and finding something to do. God frickin damn, go jack off somewhere if you're so inclined. I don't give a crap.

Bottom line is: Be bored if you want to, but keep it to yourself.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

First Impressions.

Man, are these things ever hard to shake. It's difficult, especially in High School, to not be afraid of what you think of people. Everyone finds it hard to make new friends, and there are the few who make it look easy, and even fewer still who actually do find it easy.

Do me a favor. Go up to someone that maybe you've heard bad things about. Maybe you kind of know them, but have never really taken the time to understand what makes them tick. Maybe you share a class, maybe you see them around all the time, maybe none of your friends like them.

All that dosen't matter. People need to let go of social image and love a little more. Break out and hang with the smokers for a day, with the preps who hang in the library, with the kid that sits on his own every lunch hour.

You'd be surprised what you find, and who knows, you might just find yourself with more people to smile at.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Girls are Too Subtle.

Or maybe boys are just dumbshits. Who really knows?

Like, a girl will drop a hint, and the guy will be like "Uh? Engrish??".

Isn't that the way it's been since Adam and Eve?

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Ah, I had a good day today! Want to know why? Lots of you are probably like, "Uh, no. I don't even like this blog!"

Whatever. Don't care. You're ruining my good vibe!

Anyways, on with the story. So for the longest time, I was out of touch with a very good friend of mine. I don't wanna relay her whole story, because that's unfair to her, but I'll sumarize.

Basically, another really good friend (We'll call her F2, for simplicity's sake) got really mad at her. Over some stupid boy. Let's keep in mind that I was absent during this time frame, living out my life somewhere else. So, when I got back, after a year of being gone, I asked F2 what F1 was up to. She told me how they weren't friends anymore, and that they weren't going to forgive each other. F2 is very stubborn, and I had little to no say in the matter.

What was I supposed to do? Choose between best friends? Yeah, something like that.

I dunno, I guess because I'd known F2 longer, I took her side for a little while. But I started to miss the third member of our Three Musketeers. I said nothing about it, not really.

As time passed slowly before us, myself and F2 stayed very close as we entered high school. We made a ton of new friends, some of which stayed with us, others that drifted away. I met two of the best friends I'd ever known in Grade ten, I met my boyfriend. A lot of stuff happened, a lot of people came and went. Maybe F2 never thought about it, but I never forgot F1. She had a very special place in my heart. Wow, that's corny.

Recently, I reconnected with F1. We got to talking, laughing, having fun. I realized exactly how much I missed her. And then I sort of started to wonder why F2 had gotten custody over me in this Friendship-Divorce. I want equal visitation rights, goddammit! I want to be able to be friends with whomever the hell I want, and not have anyone get pissed at me. I almost wish things would go back to the way they were in grade eight, I wish they would just freaking make up already. But then I think that everything happens for a reason, and maybe I'm supposed to be the person who brings them back together.

I dunno, I was just very happy to see my long lost friend.

So, to do something different for the sake of something different, I want you to tell me about this. What do you think about re-connecting with people you haven't spoken to in years? Better yet, why did you ever stop talking/seeing them? Are you happy that you've met up with them again? Have you got any interesting stories you can share on the matter? I want to hear what you guys have to say.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Conforming to Non-Conformity.

Just think about that title for a moment. Let it simmer. Doesn't that just make your brain want to explode? Saying something like this is really similiar to saying that no one has their own individual thoughts on ethics and morals, because we all believe what certain aspects of society tell us to believe. Hell, it's fricken the same thing!

Think about this: Communism. We say, here in Canada/America: "The way the Koreans run their country is wrong and cruel! It goes against all human rights!"

This is of course referring to North Korea and it's seemingly corrupt communist government. Now, I'm not saying that what goes on over there is right or that I believe in it. I'm saying that we only think it's wrong because that's what our society, a man-made construct, leads us to believe.

Everything you think, all of your opinions and thoughts, it's all rooted back to the kind of collective community you live in. We think differently than those that live in a different country because of cultural and societal differences, but who's to say that one is right and the other is not? You can't ever get away from what's been bred into you, and you can't escape biased opinion.

Back to the conformity thing. Ever notice that non-comformity is conformity within itself? You're conforming to not following the norm. You're still placing yourself within a particular group, and one that is in fact so popular and so large, that is actually worse to be a non-conformist in a way. Wow, that was a long sentence. Smack me the next time I do that.

So, does this mean that eventually we will get to a point where people are going to go to extremes to be different from the rest of all them non-conformists? Hell, they already are! Look at stretching your ears three inches, tattooing your entire body, putting dermal anchors that look like spikes into your skull! People will continue to search for new ways to not conform to the non-conformists, who will start to be regular conformists. And so on. It's a vicious cycle, man. A vicious cycle.

I think I'm gonna go lie down now. My brain hurts from all this jibberish like thinking.


Monday, November 16, 2009

The Shock Effect.

Do you know how much fun the Shock Effect can be? You would assuming you know what such a thing is. I think I've just accidentally coined the phrase, but basically, the Shock Effect is where you say or do something that makes ripples. It makes everybody around go, "Whoa!"

Here's an example:

A conversation between a teacher and his AP European History class. The teacher calls all his guitars woman, and the class asks why.

Teacher: "All my guitars are women because I touch them and play them on a regular basis. I don't want to be intimate with a man!"

This in itself is the shock effect. You know what they say, ripples just keep going.

The entire class giggles meschieviously. A girl in the front row, who looks a bit like a punk and has her feet propped up on the desk says this:

"So, does that mean that my guitar has to be male, because I like to touch men?"

Because most AP students are so inexpicably modest (AKA, huge keeners/never had any fun), the entire class gasps and turns to look at her, shocked and more than likely appalled.

Pow. You get a shock. It's actually very amusing to put this little bit of psychology into work. Try it for yourself, especially if people know you to normally be very quiet and modest, and see what happens. When the time is right, just burst out and say something outrageous and completely innappropriate for the situation. Obviously be careful, because you don't want to barge in on a serious conversation and shout "PENIS!!" at the top of your lungs. People will be pissed with you.

But in a lighthearted atmosphere, it's the Shock Effect that makes people pop from the crowd.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Clamors of Family.

Even now, as I'm sitting here writing this, screaming and shouting jumps up from all sides. Blegh, I think I'm far too mature for my cousins. They still do that thing were when we all get together, we all have to be together and play together. I don't do kids games anymore. I don't chase, I don't tussle, and I sure as hell don't do the whole make believe thing. Funny, coming from a writer, isn't it?

I wish I still could. A part of me really wants to dive right in, grab a pillow and smack em all around a bit. I'm just too mature for all that. It's like being the big fish in a little puddle. They're all so entranced by their fantasies, and somehow I've forgotten what it was like to lose myself in the twines of my own imagination, I can't ever let my mind stray too far. Not anymore, anyways.


The Whims of My Heart.

"You're twisted, but utterly whimsical. Did you know that?"

"No. What's this all about?"

"I don't know, it's just the way I feel in my heart."

"Your heart makes you say that?"

"No, you make me say that, because you're so perverse, and so aribitrary. Maybe you're just sadistic, I don't know."

"Maybe you're a masochist."


"Well, make up your mind. Is it your heart or I that makes you say such things?"

"It's my heart, but only because you've got yourself twined so tightly around it."

- - -

Taadaa! Dialogue at it's finest and it's worst! Maybe I should write a play. Or maybe not. Ahh, the whims of a writer's heart. The need to be recognized is there, but there's also the unwant to be type-casted, or worse! To become the next Stephanie Meyer! Oh, what's a talent to do?

Okay, enough with the ego. I'm quite proud of this peice, actually. I wanted do something with a character who struggles with emotions. And then, after they've finished struggling with emotions, they get to struggle with telling people about those emotions. Ahh, I love characterization. Be on the lookout for more of this.

The Porcelain Peices.

Half of the Porelain Bowl.
I've been Broken for so Long.
I've Forgotten what it was like
to be Whole.

My other Half.
Placed together and Restored,
we still fit Together.

Found a way,
to Love Again.

- - -

A long time ago, back when I first started dating Mike, a good friend asked what it was like to be in love. I sort of brushed off the question, laughed, went on a rant about how teenagers could never find real love because we were always looking for it. I don't know if that's what I believe anymore, and I think that was partially the inspriation for this poem.

I don't think that anyone can find love if they're looking for it. It's gotta come and smash you in the face, knock the breath out of you, and press you into the pavement. It has to yell and shout to grab your attention, until it finally breaks you in half and says triumphantly, "Ha! Now you can't run away anymore, cause I've got you in a stranglehold!"

That's what being in love is like, I think. It's an accident, real love is, where everybody is shrugging their shoulders and saying "I don't know how, it just happened!"

Isn't that the way of all the best things?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Metal, But Not The Music Kind.

Okay, so anyone who knows me would probably tell you that I'm prone to do things things without thinking about it, I love to be following a different stream than the norm, and if you tell me not to do something just because you don't like it, I'm gonna do it just to prove something to you. People who don't know or don't know me very well will tell you thinks like I'm slowly and very litterally becoming a metal head, I'm a total bitch and something like a badass, and that it always looks like I have an image to uphold.

Okay, so maybe all of these things have a bit of truth. When I want to do something, I might ask you your opinion, but I most likely have already made up my mind and don't care. Sorry. I do love to be different from the norm, and I think that's mostly because it's like a breath of fresh air. If everyone is exactly the image that Society shows us we should be, we might as well just call ourselves Lemmings and jump off the next damn cliff we see. And NEVER, EVER tell me that something I love is something you hate, because I will bite your head off. And I will punch a hole in my face to prove it to you.

Maybe I'm addicted. I like metal. I find it attractive, classy if done the right way, and an amazing form of self-expression. We live in a world that pounds us with thirty second messages about image 24/7, so isn't it only natural that myself and my generation (Generation Y, in case you were wondering) retaliate against this? Yes, piercings are incredibly, insanely, almost to the point of not being cool anymore, popular. But it's only because young people feel the need to break away from the clones. I love having peircings, it makes me feel like an individual in a school full of Abercrombie and Finch, American Eagle wearing preps. I don't want to be like that.

Yes, I can and will be a bitch if I have to be. If you get in my face and start snarling at me, I garantee that I'm not only gonna snarl back, but I'll bare my teeth and bite. Don't raise hair if you don't wanna fight is all I'm saying, really. I'm a non-violent person. Really I am. I don't start fights, I don't cause mischeif, I don't make trouble on purpose. That suff just finds me sometimes, and you can't always run away.

Anyways, this is just a rant, really. I'm tired of people judging me based on the way I look and the way I act. Family, friends, classmates, teachers, co-workers. I get judged all the time, and more often than not, it's in a negative way. That bothers me because it feels like some of these people don't take the time to actually get to know me. Instead thay judge based on the cover of the book, because it saves them time and effort.

I'm a strong believer and finding out as much as I can about a person. I will ask you about everything from your morals and ethics to your favorite food and color. There is no other way to learn about someone. There's no other way to know someone, and no other way to love. You gotta work at it, and that's all. I pride myself on knowing people from all walks of life. I'm really happy to say that when someone needs me, I'm there for them. I'll talk. About you, about me, about anything. But I'm better at listening, and that's something that's rare these days.

Maybe that's all I'm really trying to say. I just want people to listen more. Not even to me, but just in general. If you're listening instead of always talking about how you have this problem or that problem, then this world would be a much better place. And I garantee that you'll find yourself with much more than handfuls of love.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Life and Times.

Okay, so just a real quick update. We are currently two days into National Novel Writing Month, and I am sitting at approxiamtely 5000 words so far. Yay for being a keener!

I have discovered this wonderful new band called Florence and The Machine. If you haven't already, check them out, cause they're pretty rad.

That's all for now!