"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Growing Up

Feet pressed to mess,
I stand at my bedroom window--
across the river
better apartments
better lives
will I ever get enough?
Will I ever say
"I'm happy with what I have"?

When I'm 40
visiting my second home
soaked in California sun,
will I remember
the clunking Pontiac Sunfire
that never quit?
the feeling of constant hunger
and the satisfaction of a
home cooked meal?
the feeling of the world
shoving up against me
and reveling in it?

Will I remember
the steady winter of youth,
the cold desolation of a life
before my life,
the momentary mirage
of good things to come,
the gradual but unnoticeable improvement
through broken backs and sweat lines,
until one day
I wake up
middle aged and satisfied?

Is there really more to youth
than preparation for old age?

- - -

I missed this place. I missed my words.


  1. This is really good. Yeah, you will remember every bit and you will probably feel the same at 40 as you do now. People change on the outside but rarely the inside. :)
    Welcome back! You were missed.

  2. some grow young and some grow cold JB, and the only thing that really changes is our perspective. I'm not sure happiness is in the past or future because there was and will always be a problem with everything. A few of my buddies never got the chance to live much beyond 40. So if they knew that when they were young, how would that have shaped they way they lived life?

    You almost had a year hiatus. If you think we didn't notice or miss your writing, you would be way, way off.

  3. Missed your words too. Can't really add anything better than what Dox said...he nailed it as usual.


"Write with our backs to the wind and our faces to the hard, bleaching sun."