"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Friday, October 16, 2009

Stealing Street Lights is A Crime; Who Knew?

No kidding right? Yeah, that's what I said when the cops showed up at our house, ten to eight, asking for the person who last drove the white Neon parked in our drive way.

Hmm, well let me think about that. The last person to drive the vehicle was Mother-Figure. And what did Mother-Figure do that might get the authorities to come banging on our door? It's sort of a long story.

It's starts with myself, Gwyn (Younger sister), and Mother-Figure driving down town. The winding road is relatively packed down with traffic (Five in the afternoon, beginning of rush hour), the sky is a hazy grey. Monotone slush and polluted snow wash away the last remnants of summer. It's cold, damp, and depressing; we make the trip light hearted and full of jokery. I'm smiling, Gwyn is smiling, Mom's singing along to The Doors, even though it's an unhappy day. When it's just us girls, everything is fun.

Mom notices as we drive down St. Albert Trail, that a street light (green means go, read means stop!) has been bashed of the post. It's sitting there, in a pile of slush, on the corner of a sidewalk. Well being as high on life and hilarious as she normally is, Mom suggests we grab it on the way back. The following conversation ensues. I start.

"Um, can't you get fined for that?"

"I dunno! Think you can?"

"Well, isn't it technically property of The City of Edmonton?"

"Pff. Who's gonna catch us? Huh? You're only sixteen once!"

So we go about our merry way, each of us jokingly speculating on what we would do with the street light if we did take it, where we would display into the house, ect. ect. I had absolutely no idea that Mom was being serious.

On the way back, we all rigidly notice that the street light (this is only something like forty five minutes later) is still on the corner. Mother-Figure flashes me a devillish smile and pulls into the nearest parking lot. I was hesitant at first, knowing very well that we could get into some serious trouble, but as soon as I'm out of the car and running with her towards the stupid thing, I'm smiling like a half drunken idiot.

It wouldn't fit in the trunk, so we chucked the thing in the back seat with Gwyn (More like the other way around actually, the street light was as long as the car is wide.) and drove off, laughing at our cleverness.

We hit the mall. We get take out for dinner, buy a sexy new jacket for me, new shoes and shirt for Mom, sunglasses for Gwyn. I almost convince Mother-Figure to pay for a haircut for me. Everything is good.

We get home, start serving dinner, and there's a ring at the door. My mom jokingly screams, "AHH, IT'S THE POLICE!!" I run to open the door and, lo and behold, it's the police. The smile plastered across my face instantly disappears. The following conversation ensues:

"Good evening, darling." *british accent*


My mom comes to the door. I become very concientious of the large street light sitting in the middle of the living room.

Mom: "Oh."

"Who was the last person to drive the car in the front, ma'am?"

"Um, I was."

"And, did you take something that maybe you shouldn't have taken?"

Pause. "Maaaybe."

"Why did you take that?"

"Because it looked cool?"

"Cool enough for a criminal record, ma'am?"

"I didn't realize I was stealing it!"

The conversation continues in this fashion for some time. I listened as I cowered fearfully in the kitchen.

Luckily, no one was charged or arrested, but they did take the light away. Mother-Figure was very disappointed.

AND the moral of the story is: Stealing a Street Light is a Crime. No kidding. ;)

I wish I'd gotten pictures, but the police took it away before I could snap any.

Till next time!

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