"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Friday, November 12, 2010

Father, Mother, Brother.

My mom always said
dysfunction runs deep
in this family
a million paper cuts.
Hidden until
you wash
with soap;
Then they

My father always said
resentment runs fast
in this family
river water.
Soft until
you fall in
and choke;
Then you

My brother always said
they both never knew
what it was
to be alone;
They had
for that.

But in all the madness,
you'll always have me,
little bro.

- - -

This feels...so long. -_- I'm not a fan of long poetry, really I'm not. But it seems like lately I've been having trouble getting my ideas down in a small span of words. But I guess it's all part of growing and developing: both are perpetual and never stop. They also cannot exist without each other. Hmm.

Anyways, this is for the Thursday prompt at Poets United.


  1. I loved this; the way it flows, the layout, the picture it paints. Beautiful.
    I also keep coming back to read it.

  2. Beautiful...
    I loved it..
    The last stanza is super.

  3. Beautiful...
    The last stanza is super cool.
    I love the way it flows,the love it shows..

  4. This is a really well written poem. Deep thoughts so well expressed. I love the big brother reassuring his "little bro". That is just very sweet. Really good poem, I loved every line.

  5. Right on - stick tight to your bro.

  6. JuiceBox,
    You should feel really proud of yourself. This is a really lovely poem, which I am pleased to have read.
    Best wishes with all your writing,

  7. Thoughtful, JB. I really liked it. We can all relate to family.

  8. Nice write Juice..the piece is a great length for the thoughts you wanted to express....you have a talent..look forward to reading more of your work...bkm

  9. Juice, your words really capture and tell the story of your family's dynamics. You are brave to put it into words at all....I never could have done that at your age. Hell, I still can't. Like you, I prefer short poetry but this seems just the right amount of words. You're very talented. I'll be back.

  10. This poem was obviously meant to be exactly as long as it is! Every word matters, and flows effortlessly into the next..so well done. And I can certainly empathize with the sentiments expressed...:)


  11. Good stuff JB. Lots of layers here. Family is always a good repository for writing ideas.


"Write with our backs to the wind and our faces to the hard, bleaching sun."