"The desert bears only a scathing sun, and nothing more."
"What about mirages?"

Saturday, November 27, 2010

You Are A Bittersweet Onion.

Raw onion
stings my eyes
and tastes sweet
before stinging
my tongue too.
Have you ever
bitten into

- - -

When I originally wrote this, it felt all wrong and silly. I was asking myself, "Why the heck am I writing about onions?" I put it down for a few days and came back and rewrote it. And now I feel much better about it.

So my thought of the day will be: Why do young writers feel like everything must be polished, clean, and perfect the first time around? Or maybe it's just me?

I like to get stuff right the first time, I guess. It's the obsessive complusive perfectionist in me.


  1. no need of course,
    especially you, you can make it perfect with the first try.

    lovely piece, enjoy the wit in it.

  2. don't forget to link some of your poems to potluck tonight,
    Happy Sunday!

  3. Nicely done. Brings to mind the style of William Carlos Williams.

  4. I like this, concise and to the point. Nice. :-)

  5. Simple but a profound question at the end makes it a bigger piece than it looks. Nicely done.

  6. Nice work J.B. Skillz as always!

  7. This is Zen like. Glad you shared it with us. To your question: it doesn't get different as you get older. Part of the human experience!

  8. The question at the end made it for me. It actually got me thinking, and the best kind of poetry makes you think.

  9. I like the simple, sweet, zen feeling of this as well. Hidden in all our memories are bittersweet stories to tell. :o)

    Rhyme Me a Smile

  10. Love the pondering in this piece....keep on writing Juice Box!!! :-)

  11. nicely done, the thought it puts to mind

  12. Good stuff JB. By the way, nothing is polished, clean, and perfect. Nothing.

  13. There is no "right" in the sense of your question, Juice. There is only the rightness of your thoughts, your feelings, your words. Believe in your instinct and your ability - they won't betray you. This onion poem has a huge message. You did good again. :)

    PS - loved your poems in the Poem's United Poem of the Week. Huzzah!


"Write with our backs to the wind and our faces to the hard, bleaching sun."